The Sweetest Kind of Hero: Happy Father’s Day!

This is my husband.

I could stare at him for hours, but let me move on. He is an amazing father to our little one.

We like to chant “Da-da” until he returns home from work. Yeah, we’re big fans of this guy.

He is a not perfect, but he is a man of God.

Hero of the Sweetest Kind,

Happy Father’s Day! I remember composing a blog post a year ago to honor you as my husband and the father of our newborn. I could not have imagined how the past year would unravel itself, unveiling a day-by-day call to self-denial that you would heed relentlessly. It has not been easy. We’ve been pushed to our limits, sometimes with little-to-no sleep. I’ve watched you choose which battles to fight, easing your grip on school (all the precious time teachers must give after hours) in order to come home early to provide me with some relief. How our little boy has cherished those hours with you! His da-da, da-da, da-di, da-di, da-da.

It seems like forever ago that we were planning our wedding, but I remember being struck by how involved you wanted to be. You actually cared about some of those small decisions, like whether to have place cards at the reception. I didn’t know it then but you were showing yourself to be a true partner. We were a team then and we are a team now. You have completely thrown yourself into everything concerning our son. When he cries or when he’s hurt, he doesn’t just look to me, the nurturing mom, for comfort, but he looks to you. Some say the day will come when he will want only me. But we know better, don’t we? This boy is all about Daddy. And I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon.

Our pursuit of God has been challenged this year as we have had to adjust to changing schedules and how to use what free time we have to refresh ourselves. But you have persevered. You never give up. Sure, you get frustrated when things don’t look the way you want, but you haven’t withdrawn from the good fight of faith. I love you for that. It’s what we need the most. I love that we push each other in this area and that I can still say that one of my favorite things to do is dig into the word with you. Remember this past Christmas and the word you shared with us? One of the highlights of this past year.

There are so many unknowns ahead of us now as we embark on another crazy adventure. We’re expecting another child soon and we’re making big family decisions. We’re trying to figure out this whole “discipline” thing, and we’re not getting it all right. But I’m so happy God has not called us to be perfect parents today. He’s called us to be faithful. And you are faithful, Adam. Every. Single. Day.

It amazes me.

Your sacrifices do not go unnoticed.

May you continue to abide in God as a Psalm 1 husband and father, being “like a tree, planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in it season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:3).

I love you Babe!

And to all other heroes being celebrated today, Happy Father’s Day!

 

More

At the edge of my self I find myself reading more, praying more, and not just for myself.  And because these are means of grace, I am experiencing more of God, receiving more help and strength in my time of need. Fresh perspective. Hope. So while I am being challenged more than ever before, I cannot complain too much because I am gaining something far more valueable than anything I feel I am losing. More of Him. My center. My everything. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God.

My faith is precious. It was authored. It is being perfected. It was purchased with Someone’s life. It’s a gift.

 

Obedience Matters Part 1

When I attended a house church, I remember a gentleman asserting once that he did not agree with the term ‘believer.’ He’d rather not use it. I did not get it then. I think I may get it now.

Yesterday morning I experienced one of those amazing times in the Old Testament scriptures when God breaks into what I assumed would be a drag reading and opens my eyes even more to the wonders of who He is and what it means to be His. In other words, He got my attention.

I was reading the account of Jericho’s walls coming down, a story I am very familiar with, and the following verse jumped out at me:

And the city and all that is within it shall be devoted to the LORD for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers whom we sent. (Joshua 6:17 ESV)

Joshua had received these instructions from the Lord. After the walls came down, the men of war were to devote everything in the city to destruction. Everything and everyone except Rehab and her family. Rahab, the prostitute. Rahab, the woman who made a profession out of sinning against the Lord. And not only Rahab but also everyone in her house. (I plan to write more about that little detail later.)

Why?

Scroll back to Chapter 2. When Rahab hid the spies, she shed light on why she did it. She believed that their Lord was the God in the heavens above and on the earth beneath. She had heard, along with the rest of her people, all God had done for Israel and while her people were afraid and were ready to stand their ground against Israel, she believed in their God (Joshua 2:8-11).

Did God save her merely because she believed?

Yes and no.

Look back at Joshua 6:17. He says that Rahab and the people with her can live because she hid the messengers. That’s action, folks.

She was delivered from destruction she well deserved because she not only believed, she acted. Now, one could argue that he saved her because of her faith and that it was her faith that caused the spies to enter her house in the first place. Sure. That may be the case, but that is not what the Lord emphasizes here.

As someone who tends to make light of disobedience at times, this hit me hard. I remember when I was in middle school, my grandmother took us to her friend’s house one weekend for a cook out. After getting my food, I decided to eat on the deck outside. I looked ahead and could see the beautiful day through the open patio door. I walked quickly right into the closed patio door. They cleaned those sliding doors well. It hit me kind of like that. Except no one was around. No one was laughing. Or embarrassed.

God delivered Rahab because of what she did as a result of her faith. Faith is necessary, for without it we cannot please God (Hebrews 11:6). We must believe that he exists. We must believe that he rewards those who seek him. But here’s the key. That belief must lead to action.

Without action, our faith is dead (James 2:26). Our God is alive, not dead. So if our faith is dead, that means we are not with God. Get the picture. Faith must be foundation of how we live our lives.

Faith apart from works doesn’t save. And works alone will not do help you anymore than the next man. They are two sides of the same coin. And without God’s saving work in our hearts, neither will happen anyway.

If you are bristling at this, just recall James asserting that even demons believe (James 2:19). Thus, belief alone is not what saves people. I feel extremely comfortable writing this right now, because it’s straight scripture. God is consistent throughout the Bible. He is moved by the faith that compels action. People like to argue that the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament. Nope.

But you are right to note that there is a difference. It’s not God. It’s the way he relates with his people. His covenant with the people changed. But he has always been a God who requires faith and obedience that springs from faith.

This is why it is so important that we understand that belief in Jesus Christ is transformative. We become new creations as a result of believing in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are new creations who not only think differently but live differently. And it is our transformed lives that separate us from those devoted to destruction.

Yes, Jericho was devoted to destruction, and so is everyone who does not submit to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But the kingdom of God is advancing. People’s lives are changing and Mark Seiford put it this way: “The kingdom advances here on the earth where faith and obedience are found.”

Faith is necessary, for by grace we are saved through faith. And this faith produces a godly life.

Obedience matters.

We are not perfect. I am sure Rahab wasn’t either. She was, after all, a prostitute. I’m sure she was still working through some things.

Hebrews 11:31 states:

By faith, Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies [emphasis added].

Those who are disobedient will perish. How am I counted among the obedient when I mess up every single day?

Because Jesus took the penalty of death that I deserve upon himself. That’s the awesomeness of the new covenant. God promises that if I truly trust in Jesus, relying upon his life, death, and resurrection for my salvation, he’ll give me everything that I need for life and godliness. He gives me everything I need to obey him. He’s given me his spirit. I have a renewed mined. I am able to understand and apply his word. I have love in my heart for him and his people. This is all because of Jesus.

I am without excuse.

And if I start to think that I am excused from obedience, from a heart that delights in the holiness of God more and more, then I am a fool. Faith without works is dead. It is all too easy and too common to live a Christian lifestyle and still be counted among those who are perishing.

I think this is why Paul instructs the Philippians to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. But he does not leave them with that. He says, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).  There’s grace. There is strong help on our side.

So, my dear brothers and sisters in the faith, we are not only believers. We are Obeyers. A believer can believe and still perish. We follow Christ. We aim to keep his word because we belong to him. We are His. And we will not die. Because we are hid in Christ, we will live. Forever. With God.

 

Life with a Newborn: Lost and Found

Life with a newborn really makes me feel like I am living on the edge–on the edge of SELF!

In many ways, I’ve never felt so alive, so utterly dependent on the next wave of grace from the Lord to get me through a rough night, the next sleep cycle, the next fountain of urine that manifests when I’m changing O’s diaper.

I’ve never felt so strong an inclination to die–that is, to die to SELF.

Motherhood, from the self-centered eyes of my youth, always looked so boring and lame. Mothers seemed to lose themselves in caring for their families, and sometimes this even meant losing their fashion sense. Friends became mothers and became strangers to me. Their lives seemed so mundane and messy. That’s why it was so important to live life to the fullest back then. To live before my life got swallowed up by the demands of a needy household.

But now  I see the truth. Yes, mothers do lose themselves, but it is a beautiful thing. Jesus said that those who lose their lives for his sake find it, and those who seek to find their life apart from him lose it. So far, three weeks in, I see that motherhood is really one big faith adventure.

Fighting Tears as I Consider Our Living Hope

After completing “The Incident with Percy,” the story of how I came to know and believe the love God has for me, a story of Grace and Truth, I began to look through my Gmail inbox for old e-mails that I may have sent around the time I left the prosperity church. I found the letter that I sent to all my friends at the time. I also found e-mails between me and my new friends and was able to see how the Lord was rapidly renewing my mind through his word.

I had started going to a Holy Trinity, a presbyterian church (PCA) in downtown Tampa, where I could focus on biblical teaching. I was able to get over the fact that people did not raise their hands or shout or speak in tongues. I did not agree with all their doctrine on the Holy Spirit, but I was able to recognize that they were brothers and sisters and that they taught the true Gospel. I found these notes from Steven Casselli’s teaching on Hebrews 11:23-40 today, and I think they relate a lot to what I was learning at the time. Enjoy.

The Incident with Percy: The Place of No Return

If this is your first term reading, check out the first installment of this series here.  If you missed the last entry, click here.

13

At first their freedom was refreshing, but then it started to get to me. I remember sittting in meetings where people were discussing the Gospel. A major part of their presentation was Ephesians 2:8-9. Salvation by faith not by works.

I just couldn’t believe it.

I felt like people were going to use that to get away with not really living for God. I argued with my new friends in the campus ministry I found, called The Navigators. I pointed to Bible verses that said that we must work out our salvation with fear and trembling or that we must examine ourselves to make sure we are truly God’s people. But they had verses too…

“All have fallen short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23)

“He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness but according to his own mercy” (Titus 3:5).

They emphasized that no one could ever be good enough to enter the kingdom of Heaven. It was only through trusting in Jesus Christ, our Savior, who paid the penalty for our sins, that we could stand before God as an accepted child of God.

I understood that Jesus died for my sins. I understood that in order to be saved I had to believe in Him. But for some reason, I felt like that was enough. I had to prove myself by my works. I probably felt this way because at my church it felt like you had to prove yourself to truly be blessed by God.

I think I also felt this way because “believing in Jesus for salvation” meant confessing that Jesus is Lord and that I believed he was raised from the dead. Yes, I had faith for that, but I never truly considered the biblical implication of this truth for my soul. In short, I had a shallow faith.

The Incident with Percy: A Way of Escape, Please!

If this is your first time reading, check out the first installment of this series here.  If you missed the last entry, click here.

8

Something changed after that argument. I still wanted him around but it was like Laura was fighting to be heard. It was like God was trying to pull me out and I was pulling away. Tug-a-war. As if I could ever stand a chance.

This is where things get blurry. Everything happened so fast. It started with a conversation with my step-father. I was in Target when I saw his name flash across the screen of my mobile phone. I had talked to my mom a bit about what was going on. She knew some stranger was staying in my apartment, but she did not know the details. I thought he was calling to try to put some sense into me. I braced myself for yelling and cutting words.

To my surprise, he just talked to me about life. He asked me questions like, “Who do you want to be in five, ten years? What is your purpose?” He talked to me about my dreams. He talked to Laura without me realizing it. He got to my heart. I shared the impossibility of me ever doing what I wanted to do. For the first time, I told him why I wasn’t in school, that I had an overdue balance preventing registration. But he kept talking. He could be a great inspirational speaker. After about thirty to forty minutes of me walking back and forth down the same few aisles, picking up items and then putting them back down, he ended the conversation with a suggestion that I come home for the weekend.

As I think about it, I realize what he did. It meant so much to me that knowing my situation he chose not to say anything about it. I felt loved. And I felt that all hope was not lost. I started to care again.

But all I had to do was go home to see the reality of my situation.

The Incident with Percy: Drowning in Daylight

If this is your first time reading, check out the first installment of this series here.  If you missed the last entry, click here.

4

How do you communicate to people exactly how bad things appear to be going when the constant answer to your trouble is “Have Faith” or “Let go and let God”? How do you explain to people just how broke you are, just how much you need help when some people do not seem as generous because they know you can seek the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, who can give you more than what you need if you, yourself, are generous and have faith? How I am to believe God cares for me when his own people do not reflect such care?

How do you get the help you need when you are struggling for money, lonely, in want of a romantic relationship, wounded from incidents of your past, thirsty for significance and a sense of belonging and people continue to reinforce the 7 steps to God making your dreams come true, dismissing the reality that God is the Greater Gift, the Satisfier, the Only One I need?  How long did it take me to see that God is my dream come true all by himself. Right there in my heart?

As I got ready for church, my heart was giddy. As I walked about the kitchen, I wondered if he was watching me from behind his shades. I felt desirable, lovely. I relished in a fantasy of being unhinged from my moral convictions just for a moment. Thankfully, I got out the door to my ride to church. I knew the lust in my heart was wrong. I prayed the Lord would help me during  church service. Renew in me a right spirit. I didn’t know how I was going to serve the youth during second service or dance at the conference with my heart being pulled in so many wrong directions.

The 5am Experiment: Enough is Enough

Day #26

It’s hard to believe that I have almost reached 30 days. And the Lord has been so gracious. I woke up on time today without doing jumping jacks. I woke up on time after being off on Monday and having a snow day yesterday. While I still woke up at 7am on my days off, 4 days off in the row was the perfect set up for a week of rough mornings.

Today, while reading Exodus 15-16, I was touched by the graciousness of God. He responds to the prayers of Moses. He is attentive to the needs of Israel, even though they are grumbling. In fact, I do not see where the people prayed to God for food. The Lord hears their grumbling and then gives Moses the plan.